Rose, Rose, Thorn, Bud
Rose, Rose, Thorn, Bud
Neil Pasricha created this activity which can be found on his blog. https://www.neil.blog/articles/rose-rose-thorn-bud
Start with the first Rose. Identify something that went great today or something for which you are grateful. It does not have to be big – just a recognition of the good. The second Rose is the same thing. If you have more than two, feel free to list more Roses, but make sure you have time for the last two. The Thorn is something that didn’t go as planned or was an outright failure. If you are doing this with a partner, this is when the partner expresses empathy with your disappointment and offers encouragement (NOT advice). If you are doing this alone, this is not Pity Party time, but rather a time to recognize the failure, identify something you may have learned, and then shake it off. You can do this literally or figuratively. The Bud is something you are looking forward to tomorrow. It can be simple (seeing the sun after days of rain) or more involved (an anticipated event). A Bud is NOT an ‘I’ll try harder’ thought. This can be done verbally between partners, silently by yourself, or you can keep a gratitude journal where you record these things.
The activity is a way to express Gratitude. It’s best done with two people with a trusting relationship, or you can do it yourself. You could do this as a family around the breakfast or dinner table. You could do it with each child individually before story time at bed, in carpool, on the way to a sports practice, etc. You can pair up your children and have them do it together. If time is short, just sharing Roses is better than nothing.
Doing this activity every morning or evening or at least several times a week will gradually shift your focus to “an attitude of gratitude”. When you practice Gratitude, you focus on the good things in your life, both big and small. This can help you to shift your perspective from one of negativity to one of positivity. This can help you to feel more Confident in yourself and your abilities.
To process this activity, ask these or similar questions:
- Did you like this game?
- Which one was the hardest to name? Which one was the hardest to share?
- Were you surprised by the other’s answers? Did their answers give you any ideas?
- Did voicing a thorn help you to let go of it?
- Did you feel more Confident after doing it?
- The next time you are feeling self-doubt, do you think Roses will help you be more Confident?