Croskey’s Corner: Generosity

Text Red Cross 90999! Donate to help the victims of (Fill in the blank disaster) Visit the Red Cross website! We all hear these pleas. And the help comes in, from all over the states and even other countries. Many Character Qualities from many Months were on display during these responses: Compassion; Dependability; Diligence; Endurance; Flexibility; Gratefulness; Initiative; Loyalty; Orderliness; Patience; Sincerity; and Thoroughness. You can no doubt think of others. Yet it seems that the leading Character Quality portrayed was Generosity. It is said that the pictograph for the word “Crisis” is composed of the symbol for “Danger” + the symbol for “Opportunity.”
Certainly, the disasters provided plenty of Danger but also many Opportunities for Americans (and other nationalities) to be Generous. Generosity (vs Stinginess), is defined as “Managing resources to freely give.” It reminds us to share our bounty, our time and our talents; to recycle; to praise the good in others; and not to expect anything in return. I am sure you would witness much Sharing, Re-Using, Giving with no strings, and Praising the gifts of others during the response to a Crisis. What insights have we gotten about Generosity; what motivates people to show it?
I am reminded of an old movie. Anybody remember Starman, the Jeff Bridges movie from the 1980’s? In it, Bridges plays an alien who visits Earth and takes the form of Karen Allen’s deceased husband. The alien needs the widow’s help in getting back to a spaceship rendezvous. (Why do these guys never land near a space bus station?) Anyway, the trip allows the alien to learn about Earthlings. For example, he learns that traffic lights have meaning. His take on it is that Red means Stop; Green means Go; Yellow means Go Very Fast. More seriously, at the conclusion of the film, he recounts some of what he has learned about the people of Earth. He says, accurately I think, “Shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you?… You are at your very best when things are worst.” Nice to believe that, and, I think, it is mostly true. Unfortunately, with disasters we see some of the “Stinginess” as well, with some depressing stories. Sometimes its looting, or unscrupulous contractors. In short, Generosity, among helpers and victims alike, is not an obvious response to a Crisis. It is a choice!
Unlike Starman, I would probably say that a Crisis brings out the best in most people, but some of the worst in others. What makes us respond strongly, rebound favorably? We call it resilience. It is the notion that it is not so much what happens to us that matters; it is how we feel about it (and respond). Educators know a great deal about resiliency because we are trying to encourage it in our students. In the great debate about whether humans are more impacted by their inherited genetic background or by their Environment, educators usually fall in the Environmental column. We believe that we can impact our students to make choices, including being Generous in tough times.
Murphy’s Romance, another old guy’s movie from the 1980’s, has James Garner romancing Sally Field. Sally has a son, whose father comes back to visit him and his ex-wife. While there, he borrows money from Sally, then steals more. Later, the group is playing poker for matchsticks. The son catches the father cheating – for matchsticks! Later, the boy chats with James Garner, to process the cheating done by his dad. Garner tells him that, just because his dad is a cheat, that does not require him to also be a cheater. “Take after him, or not. It’s up to you.” In other words, you are not a prisoner of your genes. You have a Choice to be Stingy or Not.
I am afraid the answer here is an old refrain: Teachers can encourage students to choose to be Generous by – wait for it! – being Generous themselves! Same old story. You are a model for behavior of High Character. The kids will do what we do. Starman was right. When you see Yellow, you have to choose to Stop or Go. Be the model (at least with Generosity) of choosing to Go – Very Fast.